7th month dinner~

the 7th month of the Chinese Calender means something extraordinary to the race. whatever it is, if you don't know about it, go Google it. the adults won't let me talk about it.

but the main point today is, we had a dinner. and i'm pretty sure it's theme is about this special month. the dinner had lion dances, and whatever you can see in a function. so, i was seated with my uncles and aunt, my parents, grandmother, my cousin and a worker of my uncles.

lets make my uncles' worker W.

W likes drinking. he drank all the Carlsberg on the table. after a shocking number of cans, he was drunk. through the entire nigh, he was talking and talking to my uncle who was sitting next to him. and oh gosh, he kept rubbing his fish-glossed mouth onto my uncle's sleeve as he talked. for a few times, he spat some meat as he shouted into my uncle's ears. haha, it was cute. the whole table was giggling.

hahaha... well, it was a cute day...

i'm back! ~

it's been long since i typed in Yani as Bookworm...

and that is all because of:

a) lack of interest from followers

b) blogging becomes boring after some time

c) studies

d) i have other entertainment

e) my laptop can't type in Chinese anymore

and etc. etc...

now, i'm gonna start blogging again... 

but i don't know how long will i last...

i'll be having my exam soon, in less than 3 weeks (i think)... 

so, maybe i won't be too active during this period of time. 

maybe my next post will be about my brags on my papers and grades...

who knows? even i do not know...

so, just wait and see! 

LOL xD

Sec. Batch ~

i have 2 things to post about today,

1. Ding-dong's second batch.
    Ding-dong gave birth to 6 puppies that time, but unfortunately only 3 survived and a male one was saved by miracle. This time, she gave birth to 5, and only one din't survive. now there's 4, and this batch differ from the 1st one. Obviously, the difference is, nobody wanted the 1st batch. we went around the world asking if anyone wants to adopt them; but this batch, people are like queuing up waiting for a notice from us that they are getting a pup.  i have 4 puppies now at my car porch, everyone has an owner waiting for them to be ready to leave their mum. i am keeping a male, as we sent Bella away because she was making my garden look like it had been through an earthquake, and then a tornado. pulling plants out from the soil together with their roots is one of her daily jobs. my 5th uncle Daniel is taking the second male, my 2nd uncle is taking a female, and my father's friend Jason ( i think ) is taking the last female. besides them, there are a few more people who is still asking for a pup. but, too bad, they're all booked. i apologize to those who booked for one even when DD is still pregnant and din't get one. there's just not enough puppies born. DD has worked hard, as she delivered twice this year.. we don't want her to give birth anymore. another delivery will make her suffer more and she'll look out of shape after it and stay like that forever.
   
2. i'm just posting this to tell you guys that i am going to 2 Cemerlang next year. nothing special. buddies~!! happy new year.

moving on!! ~

30th of November... do you know what it means? it means: "get started to prepare for next year's studies". and also the same, next year's November 30th, means that i should already start studying for my upcoming PMR test...i am now in my mum's office, she installed a wireless connection yesterday and that makes things more convenient for me when i want to use my laptop.. (i love my PC more than any high-tech computers) mum's busy with bookings, phone calls, schedules, and etc. as usual.. dad on the other hand, is entertaining two (i don't know who) females.. they look busy, with one of them typing on her PC, and a big pile of files of documents beside... and me? i am here doing nothing but stupid blogging and listening to my iPod, maybe called in by my mum to do some faxing or Photostatting once in a while.. today may be my last day here this year, as I've mentioned, i should stay at home studying and preparing for next year's classes in December.
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an additional incident ~ i had a scolding from my mum yesterday night, for yelling loudly as i protested something.  it wasn't just pure scolding, but the deafening voice of hers was participated by blows on my head and etc. i don't know, i just feel uncomfortable these few days, i have this feeling of boxing the mirror in my bathroom when i saw it (i've did that before, but only my ex-maid knew about it), i felt like dumping my laptop on the floor, banging the door until it's hinges can't hold it in place... i just felt kind of... violent.... i wanted to vent something, but i don't know what, i wanted so badly to destroy anything that came into my sight.... that 2-3 weeks, i behaved very very very badly.. i shouted whenever i talked, i protested with a volume high enough to make people jump with astonishment..

but, my point is, i learned my lesson... i should never express my my real feelings too clearly, i should make my cold, quiet and numb personality when in contact with strangers a big part of my true self. that may save me a lot of uninvited problems and conflicts. i am slightly problematic, a little violent in nature, or you may say that i have a fiery temper or whatever. i am extremely emotional, everyone in this universe who knows me knows this, and they are smart enough to leave me alone when i am 'emo' . but all these can be settled when i feel nothing, nothing at all. i may have my regular mood swings inside, but with my cold personality, i can hide it from those around me, and then i wouldn't make the atmosphere as gloomy as myself...
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i guess that's all for now, i din't have much rest last night, rolling up and down my bed for the entire night, crumpling my bedsheets... and for that, i'll have to pay a price, i think feel like i am drugged right now >.<

致: 爸爸, 妈妈, 朋友 ~

我不太擅长表达自己.. 从小就没办法说出家人或朋友之间常说的肉麻话, 也从来都不会向爸爸妈妈撒娇.. 我时常情绪不稳定, 这一秒可能会很开心, 下一秒可能会变得沉没.. 脾气暴燥, 尤其是刚睡醒的样子, 我知道真的很难看.. 会很容易发脾气.. 少少事情就开始飙声.. 我不太会表达自己对你们的关心..

与一些不太熟的朋友, 我可能是比较少沟通, 甚至连要聊两句话都很难.. 要跟我混熟, 是需要很久的时间的, 一切都看我们是否有缘吧.. 与我较熟的好友, 听说你们有点怕我啊? 好啦, 我承认我的情绪是有点可怕, 但是只要你们在我情绪突然低落的时候把我放在以边, 过一阵子我就会恢复原来的我了.. 至于你们说我沉没时的样子很凶, 那就没办法了, 我也不想的.. 我已经尽量在改变了, 但还是请你们多多包容我 >.<

爸, 我知道你有时会觉得妈妈在我心里地位比你重要, 但你错了. 你们对我来说是平等的. 两人都是我最亲爱的人.. 对我都一样重要. 我之所以会时常给你脸色看, 是因为全家就只有你能容忍我. 至于你常说我只听妈的话, 那是因为我知道妈的性格跟我一样, 脾气也一样暴燥, 不喜欢别人不听话.. 而你的性格, 能让我以我自己的方式撒一下娇, 拖一点时间.. 但我也没说过我不会去做你要我做的事啊.. 还有你也常说你跟我说话的时候我不回应.. 那是我的性格.. 我被责骂之后是不喜欢说话的.. 但也不代表我没把你的话听进去.. 而且就像之前说的, 就只有你能忍受我不回应你.. 这些都是我每次都不能在别人面前做的.. 找遍全世界就只能在你面前做回一分钟真正的我, 你难道就不能当看不到我, 让我发泄一下吗?

妈, 你是个女强人.. 很少女人能够独撑自己的事业.. 我知道你对我的学业抱着很高的期望.. 我也很想达到你的标准.. 我知道我现在还不够努力, 但想变得很勤劳也不是一朝一夕就能够做到的, 给我些时间好吗? 拜托啦..

爸, 妈.. 你们说你们的朋友们都说我乖巧.. 对吗? 多谢你们从小到大对我的细心栽培, 才会有今天的我.. 可是在那个乖乖的我的背后, 也有个偶尔会顽皮的我... 顽皮的我, 就会在你们的教诲下变回那个乖孩子.. 谢谢你们..

这些, 都是真实的我说不出口的, 在网络上的我, 才会有这个勇气...

你们看不到就算了, 看到的话, 请别来找我谈.. 真实世界的我, 真的谈不起 ~