i'm sorry, i failed you~

"did you tell your late uncle Ray and your grandfather about your achieve in your UPSR last year."

this was the question my dad and mum asked me when we went to visit my grandfather's grave and my uncle Ray's place.

i wanted to tell them about it, but every single time i thought about it, it brought tears to my eyes. i can't tell them that, once i think about my stupid result of my 1st term at my new school, my new year, form 1. i actually dropped from the 1st in class for the whole entire year 2009 to the 16th in my class.

i can't really cope up in a few new subjects, Geography, History and Kemahiran Hidup. i figured out that maybe i need to attend a full subject tuition. i think i am going to attend this tuition center.. erm i don't really know the name, but i know some of my friends and classmates are having classes there, so i think it wont be so bad..

let's give it a shot!!

why is this happening??~

超久没写华文BLOG了, 我的华文POST今天就从出江湖给你们看. 哈哈, 语气很重hor, 开玩笑的啦...

我今天得到了全班名次的消息, 发现我的烂成绩帮我获得了全班第16名. 这打击, 虽然不是很大, 但我还是很伤心. 去年, 我在班上可是不需费一点儿努力也可拿到全班第一的贺子欣. 我去年全年是班上第一, 除了那2次失策得不到第一的小考. 现在, 竟然从第一名跌到第16名.. why is this happening?

btw之前有个朋友告诉我, "小心别看英文故事书看到走火入魔," 哎, 你们不知道呀... 我已在我第一次开始看英文的时候就已经被这语文深深地吸引住, 无法自跋. 走火入魔? haha, 我看我已经远超那个境界了!! 老友, 我爱英文的程度是远远地超乎你的想象的....

i am working on it~

i browsed the web with so much effort and at last, found the one i wanted.

oh?? din't see you here. what? up there? oh that's nothing. i was just thinking about the piano sheet of River Flows In You by Yiruma. yes. i found it on a website suggested by a friend. it was great, cause for players, it's a hard work to find the notes to play the song you want. and it is 10000 times harder than finding lyrics.

yeah, i found i at last, printed it out and filed it. brought it to my teacher and requested her to teach me. i'm on with the 1st few notes but i can't seem to catch the spirit of the lullaby. but i am working on it. and i am improving. i can do anything as long as i've made up my mind. and i know that i can play that lullaby well enough.

any of my friends play piano? would love to get some advise from you here!

unlucky day~

yerks.. Friday, 2nd April, a day after April Fool. i was so damningly unlucky. well, firstly, i found a squashed BEE inside my right shoe, you could guess how it died. it's juice was spurted and sucked into my shoe cushion and my stocking. it sends shivers to my spines even when i think of it now. i think the bee went into my shoe when no one was looking. and my stupid maid let me wear the shoe with that stupid bee in it. argh... my right leg, i feel like chopping it off now.

and secondly, we had PE yesterday. and while i was just unemotionally walking around, thinking about my homeworks, i tripped over a schoolbag. i don't know who it belongs to. i strained an ankle, my right ankle. it's better today, compared to yesterday. but i still feel like sawing my right leg off and replace it with a luckier one...

ha ha, cool. a leg unlucky for twice in a day.... zzz. nuisance.

and btw i think my friend, has changed her attitude of treating me. i guess its the influence cause by the girls she hangs out with nowadays. they're absolutely not good girls. i don't like her attitude now, and so is my other friend. i won't wanna be close to her now. i don't like those who can't control themselves, those who can't wake up from their wrong dreams. those who keep stepping into sinking sands and those who are just plainly stubborn.

i dislike it~

i always get questions like:

"how do you like your new school?"

"how's your secondary life?"

and i can tell you that i dislike it. i dislike my school, dislike the life there, and more specifically, dislike some of my friends.

why do i dislike them? here are some examples: ~

• my friend, a girl, is starting to get closer to bad girls. a girl, in 1 Ceria of SMK Taman Tasik. i don't wanna reveal the names of either the influencer or the influencee. but here're some cases.
  
  1. that naughty girl convinced my friend to ditch the weekly assembly and hide in the toilet, until the bell rings and it's time to get into class. they said that the assembly was boring and they wanted to skip it, go to the class to very 1st minute after the assembly is called.
  Her Ans: " OK! "
  and they ditched it. well, they never get caught but my friend's mum blasted her off in the car. and she still sticks with these bad girls after realizing that they are not good for her.
  
  2. that girl, that ditching queen, had much worse influence on my friend. she got her to GAMBLE. a very seriously bad thing to do, and to make things worse, they gamble at school!!
  
  3. a more general influence now. since that girl has a gang, they hang out together. and now, they've made my friend unaware of her schoolwork. she doesn't care about her - now - bad results. she doesn't do all her homework. she doesn't even care less about what advise people gave to her. she'll just keep quite, staring out of the window of the car or reading a Chinese Novel, not bothering to respond to anything said by me and my other friend, who is also paying for transport.
  
  
• gangsters.
  i am starting to find out most of the boys in my school are turning into gangsters. and apparently they do pay a price to be one of them. RM80. turning into school gangsters is already outrages enough, and what's the point of paying a price for something that can turn you bad??

seriously i am not going to enjoy my secondary life thoroughly if i am going to see my friends turn bad one by one. if only you guys can see clearly what do you come to secondary for. studies or badness? please, please know what you're doing. get back on the right track before you can't change fate. before it gets too late. before you can regret.

please my friends, do not tune out all those things your parents or other adults say to you. they will not lead you on the wrong track, they won't harm you. take their advise, and save yourselves all those regret and pain you will feel when you know better. save yourselves from drowning when you have a nice ship to relax on. why do you wanna swim across the ocean when you have the opportunity to change your future now?? why choose to suffer when you can relax?

come on, get your senses back RIGHT NOW! don't do the wrong thing!!

think thrice before making every move!!

not kidding here..

but of course, i can't force any of you to escape now, if you wanna get your feet deeper into the sinking sand, refusing to grasp the hands we thrust to you, go ahead. no one's going to save you, if you're not the one to save yourselves.